“This question carries a double meaning. Firstly, why does the fact that I am transgender make asking me intimate questions acceptable? Would you ask the same of someone else you had just met? Secondly, your anatomy does not define how you have sex. The idea that sex must be different and complex for transgender and non-binary individuals is evidence enough that society bases its understanding of human interaction on what body parts you have.

“The world is obsessed with physical appearance and sex. Your worth is decided by how sexually attractive you are, women are sexualised in the media, men are held to ridiculous standards, non-binary individuals are treated like a taboo minority to be silenced and disregarded.

“How I have sex is no indication of who I am; nor is it a party trick, or an inside joke, or some kind of fascinating scientific anomaly to be analysed. Being transgender or non binary can make you dysphoric and uncomfortable with your body, but it doesn’t stop it from functioning like anyone else’s.

“I am not a guinea pig, or a unicorn. How do I have sex? How do you have sex?”

Photo credit: Rowland Goodbody
Editing: Rowland Goodbody and Harriet Evans

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